Ladies who Lunch

A poem from our waitress’s perspective

Just an orange juice they want,
a cup of tea for Mable,
oh, and a jug of water
for the rest of the table.
And one wants an extra plate
to share her lunch with her friend,
and another wants to swap
her chair and sit on the end.
They want to know if they can
have a “pensioner” amount
included in the “specials”
or if we will give discount.
Lunch only costs a fiver
but they will sit there for hours,
moaning about their ailments,
boasting about their flowers.
They’ll argue over the bill
and I have the slightest hunch
that we won’t get a big tip
from these Ladies who Lunch!