I've stolen Mum's feather duster

I’ve stolen Mum’s feather duster


I have to be honest with you
I have a big confession too:
It’s not just damage that I do,
I like to run off with Mum’s shoe.

I have a collection of things,
nothing of value, no gold rings,
just mementos that I have found
as I’ve been wandering around.

Last week, one sunny afternoon,
I stole a tiny silver spoon.
It was as shiny as can be.
I just took that to bed with me.

Yesterday I found a cable
sitting on our kitchen table.
I ran off with that, it’s hidden
‘cos I know that it’s forbidden.

I’m an excellent pickpocket:
as I was passing Mum’s jacket
I pinched her handkerchief again.
I should go and work for Fagin!

I would make a useful robber,
better than the Artful Dodger.
Mum says I’m a terrible thief
but it gives me some light relief.

Anything left lying about
just must be mine, without a doubt.
I’ll nick it when she turns her back.
I’m just a kleptomaniac.

Another Doggy Ditty using my theme “Only Human” which I hope to be able to use throughout this April PAD.

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