Once upon a …..

11174783_10153235456530781_6052585075890549853_n 2GROWING UP

Once upon a few months ago
when I was just a little pup
I didn’t expect it would be
so difficult to act grown up.

Once upon a person I’d jump
and they would gladly cuddle me
but nowadays I am so big
I cannot fit on my Mum’s knee.

Once upon another puppy
I would frolic out in the park.
We would chase about and tumble
and Mum would laugh to hear us bark.

Now I’m a young adolescent
I have to practise being good.
and I have to lie down quietly
or walk well to heel, like I should.


Contrary Canine

2014-08-24 21.53.12CONTRARY CANINE

Out walking I like to run free
but Mum prefers to control me
and usually holds my lead.
United we two are indeed.

But today we are separate.
I am sulking behind my gate
two feet away, or maybe three.
That gate’s divided her from me.


The White Flag

WP_20150306_18_48_56_ProTHE WHITE FLAG

Wag, wag, wag. I did it.
I must capitulate.
I chewed up my blanket
and it’s now in a state.

Wag, wag, wag. I regret.
I do apologise.
I ripped up your carpet.
It’s now a smaller size.

Wag, wag, wag. I’m contrite.
I am pleading with you.
I wrecked my new basket
I just needed to chew.

Wag, wag, wag. I admit.
I did chase that poor frog.
I’m sorry I killed it.
I’ve been such a bad dog.

Wag, wag, wag. I beg you
please forgive, do not chide.
I’ll surrender your shoe,
the one that I did hide.

I regret I did it.
I’m contrite I admit.
See how with ev’ry wag
I’m waving the white flag.





Whose is this face up here?


I like a party
cos I get to meet
with lots of Mum’s friends
who’ll give me a treat.

And the day after
I’m in a good mood
helping Mum clear up
the left over food.

I help do dishes:
I lick the plates clean.
I help empty the bins.
You know what I mean?

writersdigest.com November Poem-A-Day challenge day 1 – “The Day After”

Angels White Heaven


I know something known by nobody else.
I feel, hear, see with my sixth sense.
I know that fairies wander out at night.
I watch them dance around in the moonlight.
I see them swinging from off our lamp post,
riding on moonbeams sprinkling fairy dust
and spinning down on dandelion cotton
I see them scattering cherry blossom.

I see the ghosts of your two dogs as well.
I feel their presence, and can sniff their smell.
I see them sometimes, then they disappear,
and at night when you’re fast asleep I hear
them calling you. So I bark to wake you.
You just think that I’m trying to make you
come downstairs to give me some attention.
You cannot see into this dimension.

But they are still here with you all the time.
They sent me here from the Rainbow Bridge. I’m
here ’til you can be united again,
your guardian White Angel sent from Heaven.

Another Doggy Ditty using my theme “Almost Human”
Read about my puppy adventures at https://angelswhiteheaven.wordpress.com/



2014-07-27 16.31.14

Me and my duck before I split him into two pieces


“What is the matter?  Please don’t cry.”
It wasn’t my fault, honestly.
I swear by my headless duck I
didn’t kill that big bumble bee.
And I swear by my duckless head
I really tried to set him free
but he flew in then dropped down dead
and lay there right in front of me.
His legs were wiggling all akimbo.
I picked him up but he kept wriggling
He stung my mouth, boy it hurts so.
Have you something for a bee-sting?

Another Doggy Ditty using my theme “Almost Human”



2014-08-07 20.03.55ABSENTEE

I’m sitting in the back
of Mum’s car in my crate
as the guy in the truck
behind us mouths “Hi Mate!”

What are we doing here
stuck in this traffic jam?
I’m supposed to be there
by six ten, so I am
going to be very late
for my training school date.

Travelling through rush hour
each week we have to drive
but just last week, oh dear,
I didn’t even arrive.

Another Doggy Ditty using my theme “Almost Human”



2014-06-15 15.31.11ACCUSED

I lie here jaded, accused .
You say it was I who abused
the blanket in my bedroom?
This is character assassination!
You only have circumstantial
evidence surely? But I cannot tell
you a monumental barefaced lie.
I will have to admit it was actually I.

Don’t just stand there in amazement.
I was feeling lonely and discontent
and then suddenly I started puking.
I couldn’t face your rebuking,
and so at dawn, in my defence,
I tried to destroy the evidence.

I’ll bet you’ll never be able to forgive me
for my remorseless, premeditated savagery.
Please don’t rant at me or torture me.

Please don’t eyeball me like that.
I’m a worthless hound I know but
it’s an addiction to chewing I’ve got.
Can we compromise or negotiate?

I’ll go without treats for a maybe a week?
I’ll grovel at your feet, if only you’d speak
kindly to me again. Please be generous
I beg you. I feel so gloomy when I arouse
your anger. I’m ashamed, blushing in disgrace.
Please don’t send me back to my birthplace.

Shakespearean words in italics.
Another Doggy Ditty using my theme “Almost Human”


Click here for a link to some words coined by Shakespeare

 © 2015 Jezebel Myschka

Ode to my Blanket

9 weeks old

9 weeks old


O blanket, I love thee
I’ve never chewed thee before
but now that I’ve started
I’ll chew thee some more.

When Mum comes back in
she’ll throw an epileptic fit
so when she finds out
I’ll have to grovel a bit.

Shakespearian words in italics.
Another Doggy Ditty using my theme “Almost Human”


Click here for a link to some words coined by Shakespeare


WP_20150110_19_08_14_Pro 2AUNTIE

Auntie’s in Canada, across the sea
but next week she’s coming to visit me
because it’s Mum’s seventieth birthday.
I like it when she’s here because we play.

If I stand up tall on my tippi-toes
I’ll be able to reach up to her nose.
Last time I could only reach to her chin
to give her a kiss, much to her chagrin.

She don’t like my kisses, I can’t think why,
pushes me away from her when I try.
I don’t understand, I feel in a muddle
‘cos she likes a hug and a doggy cuddle.

Another Doggy Ditty using my theme “Almost Human”



WP_20150424_11_35_33_Pro 2ATTENTION

I’ve special moments in my day:
when you pick up my ball to play,
when you come down during the night
just as it’s starting to get light,
when you give me a tickle-tum,
when I hear your car coming home,
when I hear your key in the door,
or when we have a shake-a-paw,
when you get my collar and lead,
when you fill my bowl for my feed,
when you say “Right, it must be time…”

These all are the moments that I’m
always waiting for, when I’m sure
I’ll be likely to receive your
rare undivided attention
(getting treats goes without mention).
Not so special is when you shout
to tell me to “get down” or “go out”,
“no” “don’t bite” or “leave next door’s cat”.

But for you I will accept that.
If I don’t always toe the line
ANY of your attention’s fine.
I’ll accept that you are busy
and cannot spend all day with me.
Understand when I’m around you
moments that I don’t like are few.
Whenever you’re near I am glad,
whenever you’re gone I am sad.


Animal Instinct

2014-08-02 10.31.39 2ANIMAL INSTINCT

Look, I am just an animal,
I’m doing what is natural.
I’m sorry if it offends you,
if it horrifies your friends too.

As I am a German Shepherd
it is in my nature to herd,
therefore when I’m after a bird
I’d prefer you’d say not a word.

I enjoy chasing a bunny,
I know you don’t think that’s funny.
and I like rolling in fox poo:
it’s the natural thing to do.

Cats and dogs out in the jungle
would never be seen to mingle,
so don’t be at all angry please
that I bark at next door’s Siamese.

You’d like me to stop doing what
is natural to me? I’ll not!
I’m just a creature of nature
you have decided to nurture.

I’m not keen on all that you do
so I’ll make a bargain with you:
I’ll stop if, when we’re in our den,
you’d play with me, put down your pen.

Another Doggy Ditty using my theme “Almost Human” which I hope to be able to use throughout this April PAD.


Almost Human

2014-08-25 15.00.43 2ALMOST HUMAN

I am almost human
so I well understand
exactly what you want
when you ask
if I’d like a “treat”
or if I want a “walk”
or to go to the “park”
or “go fetch” a “stick”
and “give to Mum”
or have a “tickle-tum”
and I’ll “shake a paw”.
I know what’s in store
with “breakfast” or “dinner”
and “time” for my “supper”
or even “go do a pee”.
Those words all mean
something to me.

But I am not human,
so I don’t understand
exactly what you mean
when you shout
“no!” “off!” “out!”
“stand!” “down!” “sit!”
“leave!” “stay!”  “wait!”
“go down!” or “be quiet!”
“over!” “heel!” or “come!”
or worse, “in your room!”
Those words are not
in my vocabulary.

Another Doggy Ditty using my theme “Almost Human” which I hope to be able to use throughout this April PAD.



Birdwatching in my run

Birdwatching in my run


Two ugly pigeons
just waddle around
in our back garden,
not making much sound.
They’re fat and lazy
and stay here all day
pecking whatever
small birds throw away.

They can’t reach feeders,
they are much too fat,
they’re just a target
for our next door’s cat.
They sleep in the tree
that’s over my run.
I’m disgusted at
the mess that they’ve done.

Now and then some more
fly in here to play,
they tarry a while
but soon fly away.
I bark at them loud
but they show no fear,
and Mum says leave them
because they live here.

I’m fed up with them
strutting round the place
as if they own it.
I run and give chase.
They always escape.
It’s not very fair
that I can’t fly too.
Then they’d get a scare!

This is a slight modification to one of my earlier poems “Percy the wood pigeon” which I wrote in my previous Doggie Ditties chapbook.



2014-08-09 10.25.06 aAUTHORITY

“Hm. Hm. Just listen!
I’m in charge, not you!
I say what you do.
Now come! You come!”

But, Mum, no, no.
I don’t want to go.
That way’s no fun
I’m staying here,
sat on my bum.

“You will do as I say.
We are going this way!
Now come! You come!”

No! I’m refusing to shift.
I’m not going to lift
my butt
from this spot.
I want to go back
down that track.

“You can’t!
I don’t care what you want,
Now come! You come!”

I don’t like it there,
the traffic scares
me. I want to stay here
in the park where
I feel safe. That way!

“Stop trying to break free!
You’re safe with me.
Now come! You come!”

No, no! You can’t make me!
Free is how I want to be.
Oh, why didn’t you say
you’ve got a treat? Okay,
as you’ve put it that way,
I’ll come. I’ll come.

Another Doggy Ditty using my theme “Almost Human” which I hope to be able to use throughout this April PAD.



WP_20150307_10_56_59_Pro 2CWIESCENCE

I’ve been sleeping.
When I’ve peed
I’ll need feeding.
I’ll dig, I’ll weed,
then I need feeding.

Give me tickling.
I’ll fetch the stick.
I’ll need feeding,
I’ll be cwite cwick
then I need feeding.

I’ve been filching.
I’ve hid the pet mitt.
I’ll need feeding
then I will get it,
then I need feeding.

I’ve been whining.
I’ll be cwiet in the night.
I’ll need feeding.
I’m begging, right?
Then I need feeding!

n.b. Some words with initial qu are of Old English origin, having changed their spelling after the Norman Conquest from cw- to qu-: cwen, cwic now written queen, quick. As per encyclopedia.com / topic / U

Another Doggy Ditty using my theme “Almost Human” which I hope to be able to use throughout this April PAD. Today’s prompt was challenging – write a poem using only two vowels. I chose i and e.



2014-06-20 17.23.36ARGUMENT

Hey! Let me give you a few basic house rules,
some you won’t even learn at dog training schools.
You will just have to learn to respect my place
and, by the way, I really value my face.
I don’t like to be bitten, even in play,
and my spectacles on my head need to stay.
Please leave my slippers on the soles of my feet,
and actually, my dear, that is MY seat.
I washed this morning, I do not need licking,
and I can’t mend chewed things, even by sticking.
You seem to be well versed in the science
of sheer obstinate canine defiance!


You’ve had your say, I’ve received it loud and clear.
Now I’ve a few words of advice for your ear.
We dogs are descended from wolves, big and brave,
and I am the pack leader, you are my slave.
It’s your job to nurture me, keep me amused,
and replace anything I’ve used or abused.
I don’t need to know about science or art,
the skill that I have is to follow my heart.
So if you make sure that I’m always well fed
and buy me new toys and blankets for my bed,
I’ll stay by your side, forever at your arm
to make certain that you never come to harm.

Another Doggy Ditty using my theme “Almost Human” which I hope to be able to use throughout this April PAD.



Behind bars

Behind bars


It doesn’t take much to keep me happy:
all I need after you’ve “changed my nappy”,
and given me my breakfast and water,
and thrown my ball again that I’ve caught yer,
and walked me all around our country park,
where I could have a good wild run and bark,
and cleared up our backyard that I have messed,
to make me feel I am all loved and blessed
(apart from a nice bone, I’ll just mention)
absolute, undivided attention.

In return, nothing much have I to give
apart from giving you reason to live,
returning my ball, your slipper and glove,
unconditional, undivided love.

Another Doggy Ditty using my theme “Almost Human” which I hope to be able to use throughout this April PAD.