Once upon a …..

11174783_10153235456530781_6052585075890549853_n 2GROWING UP

Once upon a few months ago
when I was just a little pup
I didn’t expect it would be
so difficult to act grown up.

Once upon a person I’d jump
and they would gladly cuddle me
but nowadays I am so big
I cannot fit on my Mum’s knee.

Once upon another puppy
I would frolic out in the park.
We would chase about and tumble
and Mum would laugh to hear us bark.

Now I’m a young adolescent
I have to practise being good.
and I have to lie down quietly
or walk well to heel, like I should.


Contrary Canine

2014-08-24 21.53.12CONTRARY CANINE

Out walking I like to run free
but Mum prefers to control me
and usually holds my lead.
United we two are indeed.

But today we are separate.
I am sulking behind my gate
two feet away, or maybe three.
That gate’s divided her from me.


The White Flag

WP_20150306_18_48_56_ProTHE WHITE FLAG

Wag, wag, wag. I did it.
I must capitulate.
I chewed up my blanket
and it’s now in a state.

Wag, wag, wag. I regret.
I do apologise.
I ripped up your carpet.
It’s now a smaller size.

Wag, wag, wag. I’m contrite.
I am pleading with you.
I wrecked my new basket
I just needed to chew.

Wag, wag, wag. I admit.
I did chase that poor frog.
I’m sorry I killed it.
I’ve been such a bad dog.

Wag, wag, wag. I beg you
please forgive, do not chide.
I’ll surrender your shoe,
the one that I did hide.

I regret I did it.
I’m contrite I admit.
See how with ev’ry wag
I’m waving the white flag.





Whose is this face up here?


I like a party
cos I get to meet
with lots of Mum’s friends
who’ll give me a treat.

And the day after
I’m in a good mood
helping Mum clear up
the left over food.

I help do dishes:
I lick the plates clean.
I help empty the bins.
You know what I mean?

writersdigest.com November Poem-A-Day challenge day 1 – “The Day After”

Angels White Heaven


I know something known by nobody else.
I feel, hear, see with my sixth sense.
I know that fairies wander out at night.
I watch them dance around in the moonlight.
I see them swinging from off our lamp post,
riding on moonbeams sprinkling fairy dust
and spinning down on dandelion cotton
I see them scattering cherry blossom.

I see the ghosts of your two dogs as well.
I feel their presence, and can sniff their smell.
I see them sometimes, then they disappear,
and at night when you’re fast asleep I hear
them calling you. So I bark to wake you.
You just think that I’m trying to make you
come downstairs to give me some attention.
You cannot see into this dimension.

But they are still here with you all the time.
They sent me here from the Rainbow Bridge. I’m
here ’til you can be united again,
your guardian White Angel sent from Heaven.

Another Doggy Ditty using my theme “Almost Human”
Read about my puppy adventures at https://angelswhiteheaven.wordpress.com/



2014-07-27 16.31.14

Me and my duck before I split him into two pieces


“What is the matter?  Please don’t cry.”
It wasn’t my fault, honestly.
I swear by my headless duck I
didn’t kill that big bumble bee.
And I swear by my duckless head
I really tried to set him free
but he flew in then dropped down dead
and lay there right in front of me.
His legs were wiggling all akimbo.
I picked him up but he kept wriggling
He stung my mouth, boy it hurts so.
Have you something for a bee-sting?

Another Doggy Ditty using my theme “Almost Human”



2014-08-07 20.03.55ABSENTEE

I’m sitting in the back
of Mum’s car in my crate
as the guy in the truck
behind us mouths “Hi Mate!”

What are we doing here
stuck in this traffic jam?
I’m supposed to be there
by six ten, so I am
going to be very late
for my training school date.

Travelling through rush hour
each week we have to drive
but just last week, oh dear,
I didn’t even arrive.

Another Doggy Ditty using my theme “Almost Human”



2014-06-15 15.31.11ACCUSED

I lie here jaded, accused .
You say it was I who abused
the blanket in my bedroom?
This is character assassination!
You only have circumstantial
evidence surely? But I cannot tell
you a monumental barefaced lie.
I will have to admit it was actually I.

Don’t just stand there in amazement.
I was feeling lonely and discontent
and then suddenly I started puking.
I couldn’t face your rebuking,
and so at dawn, in my defence,
I tried to destroy the evidence.

I’ll bet you’ll never be able to forgive me
for my remorseless, premeditated savagery.
Please don’t rant at me or torture me.

Please don’t eyeball me like that.
I’m a worthless hound I know but
it’s an addiction to chewing I’ve got.
Can we compromise or negotiate?

I’ll go without treats for a maybe a week?
I’ll grovel at your feet, if only you’d speak
kindly to me again. Please be generous
I beg you. I feel so gloomy when I arouse
your anger. I’m ashamed, blushing in disgrace.
Please don’t send me back to my birthplace.

Shakespearean words in italics.
Another Doggy Ditty using my theme “Almost Human”


Click here for a link to some words coined by Shakespeare

 © 2015 Jezebel Myschka

Ode to my Blanket

9 weeks old

9 weeks old


O blanket, I love thee
I’ve never chewed thee before
but now that I’ve started
I’ll chew thee some more.

When Mum comes back in
she’ll throw an epileptic fit
so when she finds out
I’ll have to grovel a bit.

Shakespearian words in italics.
Another Doggy Ditty using my theme “Almost Human”


Click here for a link to some words coined by Shakespeare


WP_20150110_19_08_14_Pro 2AUNTIE

Auntie’s in Canada, across the sea
but next week she’s coming to visit me
because it’s Mum’s seventieth birthday.
I like it when she’s here because we play.

If I stand up tall on my tippi-toes
I’ll be able to reach up to her nose.
Last time I could only reach to her chin
to give her a kiss, much to her chagrin.

She don’t like my kisses, I can’t think why,
pushes me away from her when I try.
I don’t understand, I feel in a muddle
‘cos she likes a hug and a doggy cuddle.

Another Doggy Ditty using my theme “Almost Human”



WP_20150424_11_35_33_Pro 2ATTENTION

I’ve special moments in my day:
when you pick up my ball to play,
when you come down during the night
just as it’s starting to get light,
when you give me a tickle-tum,
when I hear your car coming home,
when I hear your key in the door,
or when we have a shake-a-paw,
when you get my collar and lead,
when you fill my bowl for my feed,
when you say “Right, it must be time…”

These all are the moments that I’m
always waiting for, when I’m sure
I’ll be likely to receive your
rare undivided attention
(getting treats goes without mention).
Not so special is when you shout
to tell me to “get down” or “go out”,
“no” “don’t bite” or “leave next door’s cat”.

But for you I will accept that.
If I don’t always toe the line
ANY of your attention’s fine.
I’ll accept that you are busy
and cannot spend all day with me.
Understand when I’m around you
moments that I don’t like are few.
Whenever you’re near I am glad,
whenever you’re gone I am sad.


Animal Instinct

2014-08-02 10.31.39 2ANIMAL INSTINCT

Look, I am just an animal,
I’m doing what is natural.
I’m sorry if it offends you,
if it horrifies your friends too.

As I am a German Shepherd
it is in my nature to herd,
therefore when I’m after a bird
I’d prefer you’d say not a word.

I enjoy chasing a bunny,
I know you don’t think that’s funny.
and I like rolling in fox poo:
it’s the natural thing to do.

Cats and dogs out in the jungle
would never be seen to mingle,
so don’t be at all angry please
that I bark at next door’s Siamese.

You’d like me to stop doing what
is natural to me? I’ll not!
I’m just a creature of nature
you have decided to nurture.

I’m not keen on all that you do
so I’ll make a bargain with you:
I’ll stop if, when we’re in our den,
you’d play with me, put down your pen.

Another Doggy Ditty using my theme “Almost Human” which I hope to be able to use throughout this April PAD.



WP_20150307_10_56_59_Pro 2CWIESCENCE

I’ve been sleeping.
When I’ve peed
I’ll need feeding.
I’ll dig, I’ll weed,
then I need feeding.

Give me tickling.
I’ll fetch the stick.
I’ll need feeding,
I’ll be cwite cwick
then I need feeding.

I’ve been filching.
I’ve hid the pet mitt.
I’ll need feeding
then I will get it,
then I need feeding.

I’ve been whining.
I’ll be cwiet in the night.
I’ll need feeding.
I’m begging, right?
Then I need feeding!

n.b. Some words with initial qu are of Old English origin, having changed their spelling after the Norman Conquest from cw- to qu-: cwen, cwic now written queen, quick. As per encyclopedia.com / topic / U

Another Doggy Ditty using my theme “Almost Human” which I hope to be able to use throughout this April PAD. Today’s prompt was challenging – write a poem using only two vowels. I chose i and e.




Please don’t be cross, of you I beg,DSCF4229
that I’ve chewed your kitchen chair leg.
I got bored with my new bull’s horn
and my rope-pull toys are all torn,
my deer antler’s in little bits,
my squeaky toy has done the splits,
my leather chews do not last long,
not like the pet toys made by Kong,
and my shin bones are all empty.
I know that I still have plenty
of other things that I could gnaw
but I’ve never chewed that leg before.

The leg sort of caught in my jaws
as I was just licking my paws.
I couldn’t resist. It wasn’t meant.
Actually it was an accident,
not at all intended to grieve.
You don’t believe me? You believe
I just wanted to ring the change?
Before you get within my range
I think I’d best go to my bed,
lie looking sick and swing the lead.

Note from Lexy: it wasn’t me
who chewed the chair legs.
They’ve been chewed for ages.
Actually, it was Jezzie!

Another Doggy Ditty using my theme “Almost Human” which I hope to be able to use throughout this April PAD.


I am still there with you …….

Dear Jezzie, we were thinking about you today
as we went out on our walk on this lovely sunny day.
We really miss you, even though you were often bad,
and being without you makes us both so very sad.
We were wishing you were there with us out in the park
enjoying all the fresh air and having a good lark.

I saw our two pals today, Continue reading

When I was your Mum

Jezebel relaxing at home

I know it sounds silly because the words of the song are not at all appropriate, but this sad song about heartbreak is the one that does it for me. As it is top of the UK charts, it keeps being played on the radio all the time and gets me going every time, as it reminds me of the week I lost my Jezzie.

 When I was your Man – Bruno Mars

I’ve changed the lyrics of the song to suit our situation and it needs to be read while listening to the song:-

When I was your Mum

Same park, but it looks just a little bit empty now.
Same walks in the park, but they just don’t seem the same.
When our friends talk about you all that it does is just tear me down
’cause my heart breaks a little when I hear your name.
It all just feels like uh, uh, uh

Continue reading

A Boy and his Dog

Roger sat in his recliner chair overlooking the garden, thinking back on his life. He hadn’t done anything extraordinary, but overall he had enjoyed it. Well he had, until his wife had left him six months ago, for a younger man. It had come as a complete surprise to Roger when she suddenly announced over dinner that she was leaving the next day. Why hadn’t he seen it coming?

Continue reading


A family of long-tailed tits have come to visit me,
they’ve been here all day in and out the Eucalyptus tree.
They’re eating all the old nuts and fat balls that I’ve put out
I’ve not seen them here before, so I guess without a doubt
they like what I’ve provided more than the usual seeds
that all the birds sort through and drop down to grow into weeds!

Continue reading