I lie here jaded, accused .
You say it was I who abused
the blanket in my bedroom?
This is character assassination!
You only have circumstantial
evidence surely? But I cannot tell
you a monumental barefaced lie.
I will have to admit it was actually I.
Don’t just stand there in amazement.
I was feeling lonely and discontent
and then suddenly I started puking.
I couldn’t face your rebuking,
and so at dawn, in my defence,
I tried to destroy the evidence.
I’ll bet you’ll never be able to forgive me
for my remorseless, premeditated savagery.
Please don’t rant at me or torture me.
Please don’t eyeball me like that.
I’m a worthless hound I know but
it’s an addiction to chewing I’ve got.
Can we compromise or negotiate?
I’ll go without treats for a maybe a week?
I’ll grovel at your feet, if only you’d speak
kindly to me again. Please be generous
I beg you. I feel so gloomy when I arouse
your anger. I’m ashamed, blushing in disgrace.
Please don’t send me back to my birthplace.
Shakespearean words in italics.
Another Doggy Ditty using my theme “Almost Human”
© 2015 Jezebel Myschka