Once upon a few months ago
when I was just a little pup
I didn’t expect it would be
so difficult to act grown up.
Once upon a person I’d jump
and they would gladly cuddle me
but nowadays I am so big
I cannot fit on my Mum’s knee.
Once upon another puppy
I would frolic out in the park.
We would chase about and tumble
and Mum would laugh to hear us bark.
Now I’m a young adolescent
I have to practise being good.
and I have to lie down quietly
or walk well to heel, like I should.
Hey! Let me give you a few basic house rules,
some you won’t even learn at dog training schools.
You will just have to learn to respect my place
and, by the way, I really value my face.
I don’t like to be bitten, even in play,
and my spectacles on my head need to stay.
Please leave my slippers on the soles of my feet,
and actually, my dear, that is MY seat.
I washed this morning, I do not need licking,
and I can’t mend chewed things, even by sticking.
You seem to be well versed in the science
of sheer obstinate canine defiance!
You’ve had your say, I’ve received it loud and clear.
Now I’ve a few words of advice for your ear.
We dogs are descended from wolves, big and brave,
and I am the pack leader, you are my slave.
It’s your job to nurture me, keep me amused,
and replace anything I’ve used or abused.
I don’t need to know about science or art,
the skill that I have is to follow my heart.
So if you make sure that I’m always well fed
and buy me new toys and blankets for my bed,
I’ll stay by your side, forever at your arm
to make certain that you never come to harm.
Another Doggy Ditty using my theme “Almost Human” which I hope to be able to use throughout this April PAD.