Semi-retired and spending again!


Now that I’m considered past my working prime
I’m working on a three day week, so now I have more time
to tackle household jobs I could not manage before,
to spend some of my free time going out more
and find something for a non-working woman to do.

But with time on my hands to sort things out
I decided to delegate things that often make me shout.
So I took on a handyman to make my garden better,
just two hours a week except when weather’s wetter.
It would be ideal work for a non-working man to do.

‘Twas on the Thursday morning that my handyman came to call.
He cleared away my ivy, and exposed a dodgy fence and wall.
I needed to get new fences, it was obvious to me
and at the same time they could chop down my Eucalyptus tree.
But it would all make work for the working man to do.

So I called out a garden landscaper to put my fences right
so I wouldn’t be seen by the whole world with my lights on at night.
He could fill in my lake and replace with floral features
and put in a small pond for my frogs and water creatures.
But it would all make work for the working man to do.

‘Twas on the Friday morning that I found a summer house,
also evidence in my larder that I had a kitchen mouse.
So I called out a nearby kitchen company to plan a better design
so I could hide away all the edible paraphernalia of mine.
But it all would make work for the working man to do.

Three companies came to design and quote for my kitchen,
one disappointed rep had come all the way from Hitchin.
Now the kitchen can be started soon, I am so amazed,
but they will not start it until I get my window double glazed.
So it all makes more work for the working man to do.

‘Twas on the Thursday morning, my day off again,
I went trolling round the shops, trying to dodge the rain,
looking for toning tiles to put upon my kitchen floor,
and fancy sockets and switches that I would need for sure.
But it will all make work for the working man to do.

‘Twas on the Friday morning the demolition man came to call.
He pulled down the fence and came in through the gap in the wall.
He sent his lad to climb up my Eucalyptus tree,
and branches soon were crashing down all around me.
But it all made work for the working man to do.

‘Twas on the Saturday morning my friends came round to me
to take away the remains of my Eucalyptus tree.
Their car was loaded and they stayed for coffee and a natter
and eventually we parted, after an hour of so of chatter.
So it even makes work for non-working men to do.

On Saturday afternoon I went searching for more tiles
and I found some I really liked after driving miles.
They’ll match the new kitchen well, even the hallway too
and will look good in my cloakroom, but then I’ll need a new loo.
But that will make more work for the working man to do.

Since I’ve been on my three day week, I’ve spent more than I’ve earned.
I thought that years ago I had my spendthrift lesson learned.
Next week I’m going back to work, and there I’m gonna stay
because every day that I’m off work I’ll need to earn more pay.
But that would make no work for the working man to do!

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